BDSM massage as one of the types of erotic massage is gaining popularity among both women and men and couples in general. The desire to try something new always drives people who prefer to bring a bit of fresh impressions into their routine life.
More and more BDSM attributes are appearing in the world, the range of which is constantly replenished with new devices for every taste: floggers, whips, stacks, paddles, gags, Wartenberg wheels, handcuffs, collars, anal beads and plugs, clamps, suits, etc. Sets with a different number of items and contents are actively sold on marketplaces (from beginners to professionals and especially sophisticated buyers).
What are the benefits of BDSM practices and should you hide your desires from your loved one?
Researchers and psychologists currently say that addiction to BDSM practices is not a psychological deviation, on the contrary, it is believed that BDSM lovers are psychologically healthier than people who categorically reject this type of practice from their lives. There is also an opinion that people who periodically practice BDSM in their sex life are more open and calm. They more often than others have a release of accumulated emotions, due to which the level of stress in the body decreases, sleep and mood improve. Plus, relationships in a couple are harmonized, especially in a long-term family life together. The partner sees his (her) loved one from a new, unusual side, which not only allows people to become closer to each other, but also helps to bare the body and soul, get rid of masks and fears.
Fear of seeming different in the eyes of their spouse, fear of criticism or sneers, fear of being misunderstood, often force people to hide their desires from their loved ones. And how will he (she) react if I talk about it? — the most frequent question that pops up in your thoughts, after which, as a rule, there is no dialogue.
How to talk about your secret desires with your partner and how to introduce him (her) to BDSM?
If you have known a person for a long time, then you are probably familiar with his (her) expected reactions to this or that action, but there are cases when people in a couple are still learning about each other. In both situations, there are simple methods that will help you hint about your desires without words or awkward dialogue.
If you are a girl, then hinting about your desires can be easier, since men are generally more open to this kind of experimentation. However, there are exceptions when the partner is not particularly relaxed or not in the mood for such interaction.
The same thing happens with girls. It is worth noting the fact that there are women who are shy and afraid to talk about something or suggest something, because they believe that their man may not like it or she will seem somehow strange in his eyes.
Here are some methods that can help both girls and their partners:
- A mini-game for getting closer. Buy a small whip and offer your loved one to play a game. If you “misbehave” or don’t do something, for example, around the house (and you definitely won’t do it in this case), he must give you a certain number of spanks agreed upon with you. Also you can do without a whip – with your hands. A man in this situation can do the same – offer his beloved this game, where he will “punish” her slightly.
- Arrange a romantic surprise candlelit dinner in a comfortable home environment and take into account one important detail – an erotic role-playing costume, in which you must certainly appear. In most cases, the man’s reaction will not take long time to come. But don’t rush to the main thing! Relax your loved one with an erotic relaxing massage, warming up his interest and desire. When you understand that it is enough and it is time to move on to the body, ask him to undress you and restrain your movements (rope, bondage). There is little left to do! For man in order to relax his partner after a romantic dinner, during an erotic massage for her, needs to use elements of tying, shibari, light spanking, caressing her body with a feather until goosebumps and complete relaxation. Watch the reaction, choose what is most suitable and resonates with your other half.
- Dance. Create an intimate atmosphere – dim lighting, erotic music, a captivating aroma and… dance a striptease. You don’t need to be a pro. Beautiful lingerie, a role-playing costume that you will gradually and playfully take off, smooth movements, loose hair, passion in your eyes and confidence – these are the main elements of this dance of love! But before you start dancing, seat the man on a chair in front of you and lightly tie him up, saying that this is how it should be and that you will release him soon. Prepare a couple of BDSM attributes in advance. When you understand that the intensity of emotions has already exceeded the permissible level, move on to the main thing. What should men do with the dance? We are sure that men dance no worse than lovely ladies! And a dance accompanied by a flogger or a whip will look very enchanting! But if this method is not for you, move on to the next one.
- Conversation. Not everyone’s favorite, but quite accessible and less energy-consuming method. “What do you think about..?” “What if we try to introduce into our sex life..?” And then observe the person’s reaction and responses.
- Offer your other half to plunge into the world of BDSM together in a unique relaxing environment. Visit an erotic massage program with BDSM techniques in an erotic massage salon, having previously discussed with the masters what is acceptable for you and what is not. For the first acquaintance with this practice, a light BDSM massage (superficial impact) is ideal. Choose the salon where you will be next to each other – as a rule, for couples it is psychologically easier and better perceived.
Whatever you decide and whatever choice you make, in any case, when practicing BDSM with your partner, it is necessary to adhere to the most important principles: safety, awareness, mutual consent and voluntariness!
